quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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