dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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