i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
