WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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