mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
this is an emotional support booty call
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
