we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
