You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
