he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
