I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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