you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
