Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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