So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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