shes about as inviting as chlamydia
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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