Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
