it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
