Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
