is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Someone came in the potted fern
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
