glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
