So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
