he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
