I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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