Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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