Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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