what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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