That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
