I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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