writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
