I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
