i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is wine microwaveable?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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