Everything about him screamed your future.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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