WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
