Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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