Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
