PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
