Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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