The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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