Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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