Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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