Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
