remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
