Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
