apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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