By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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