Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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