i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize
