Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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