he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
COCAINE IS GR8
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