4 words: hood of his car
my shit smells like andre
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
