I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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