Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
