I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
