You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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