Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
