Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
