you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
