You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
