We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
