she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
