know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize