can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
