found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
